TROJANNNNNN I JUST WANNA TALK TO YA’LL

The third time Dion (curiosity stole the cat story… read that then come back) and I had decided to have sex, I wanted to try the new Fire and Ice Magnums. I thought we were about to get buck wild that night…. a bitch was wrong.

He came into the room and we started snatching each other’s clothes off…just going at it with the kissing. He threw me on the bed and started eating like it was Thanksgiving and his black momma banned him from the kitchen. I started tightening my thighs around his neck because he’s never eaten me like this before. He slurped, kissed, nibbled…. just was nasty as hell with it. He took one of the condoms from the side of me and put it on. I asked him did he feel ok because he made this look. I can’t even describe what his face looked like but he said he was fine.

So we’re positioned in missionary and he was going slow as shit. He liked to watch it cream 😂😂. So as he start to speed up, I felt the condom warm up. We’re both look at each other like oh shit and kept going. After a couple more strokes, I felt the FUCKING DEVIL IS BLOWING KISSES IN MY PUSSY. I started screaming at him..

“NIGGA TAKE YOUR DICK OUT NOW!!!!
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK???
THIS CAN’T BE REAL LIFE. TROJAN IS TRYING BURN MY PUSSY OFF MY BODY. MY MOM GONNA KILL ME IN THE ER FOR BEING A DUMBASS!!!”

As soon as Dion took it out, I felt the fucking ice part. These niggas at Trojan had me fucked up. I started screaming louder and told him to blow on it. It felt  like a stabbing cold ass winter was going on in there. Like Jack Frost was about to pop out. He looked confused as shit…..so I said again “NIGGA I SAID BLOW ON MY FUCKING PUSSY”.  He blew on it and snatched the condom off tryna make me feel better. He ran to the bathroom to get a warm washcloth. I felt a little better so he turned the lights on so we could look at the girl. She was swollen as shit.

Then he said, “How did your polish chip that fast?”. I was like hold up. I just paid 40 for this gel fill in 2 days ago. I’m looked  at my nails confused as fuck. He looked at the condom and saw my missing nail polish on the fucking condom.

We threw the rest of them out right then and there. I haven’t touched one since and never will.

Someone need to talk to the Trojan creators and get rid of those Heat Miser vs Snow Miser condom.

Advertisements

One thought on “TROJANNNNNN I JUST WANNA TALK TO YA’LL”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s