Curiosity Killed the Cat

When I was in high school, I lied about losing my virginity. I wanted to fit in… I mean who hadn’t lost their virginity by 16 (Lots of girls and guys)? Not that surprising, I was called a slut, hoe, and etc because having sex was “disgusting”. I also went to an all girl catholic school where many of those girls were very open about their sexual activities since they were 11. They were also fucking friends and shit so I couldn’t have been the hoe right?
I was always scared to lose my virginity because of pain. The thought of a big rock hard penis entering my tiny hole, scared the shit out of me. But I was determined that by the time I left I college, I wouldn’t be a virgin anymore and I’ll Be dating my husband (laugh with me about the husband part.. what was I thinking?). There was this guy I liked (who we will call D), who was ok with the idea of me losing my vCard to him.
So being the cliche loving chick that I am, I lost it to him around Valentine’s Day (February 19, 2010.. yea I remember the date… shut up). We had tried many times before but he was crazy big like 11 inches and I wasn’t ready.
Come to think of it… who would be ready for that monster???? I called him to come over later and he already knew what was up.
While he was at work, I ran to Rainbow of all places 😂😂 to get a lingerie set……I didn’t have a car. My friend at the time helped me pick out the pink lacey underwear and the variety pack of condoms out. By the time I got back to the dorm, he was getting home to shower.
I jumped in the shower, shaved, lotioned up, and perfumed everywhere. I wanted tonight to be perfect. I threw roses petals on the bed after spraying my bed with BBW’s JCB and turned off all the lights. By the time I was finished getting the room together, he was pulling up. I went downstairs to sign him in, and on the way up I could barely speak to him. I was scared of the pain and being terrible in bed but turned on.
It was kinda like watching a sex scene from American Horror Story.
He started the foreplay so I could relax and I thought I was ready so I told him to get on his back. I tried lowering myself… it didn’t work. He told me to bend over so we could change positions. We tried for 20 minutes, trying to get him to enter me from the back. As Trey Songz’s Passion, Pain, & Pleasure album played in the background, I heard him actually enter me. I heard a pop and within 3 minutes his dick was covered in blood (I found the blood part out later).
What in the hell was I thinking trying out a Comcast remote control sized dick? He continued to push in and out so I could get used to his size.
When I felt comfortable, I asked if he could teach me how to ride. We changed positions. I turned around and saw his condom covered penis with blood on it, I almost cried. I was so embarrassed that I ran to the bathroom like Michael Meyers, Jason, and Freddy were after me.
I cleaned myself up and gave myself a pep talk….. (bihhhhh get yourself together… throw it back and ride girl… the worst part is over)
I came back into the room. He tried to make a joke about the blood so I could feel better… it helped a little. We continued having sex for a while but I never came. We ended it with him receiving oral after we cleaned up. The announcement for visitation came over the intercom and it was time to get dressed. We walked downstairs to sign him out and I gave him the biggest hug I could because I felt like he did my favor. We kissed and we made plans for him to come over on Sunday when I came back on campus.
After he left, I sat in my room waiting for my friend to sign her friend out so we could talk. We listened to old R&B and sipped some Pinnacle. Before I went to sleep, I thought to myself “this can’t be what sex is…. you didn’t orgasm at all…. but you enjoyed him”.
Straight confusion.

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